Here are some unreliable reports that you won't be reading anywhere else (apart from OffonF1.com) for a very good reason...
It's a Beautiful Thing
Nicole Scherzinger has been complaining that she can rarely get hold of boyfriend Lewis Hamilton these days because he's always on the phone to Fernando Alonso. The two F1 drivers were involved in a mutual admiration society last season with Lewis describing Fernando as the best driver in F1 and 'El Nano' saying that Lewis is the driver he rated above all the others. Now the two have announced that they are going on holiday together this summer to spend some "quality time". Just, you know, chillin'.
Pirelli Aiming To Spice Up Races
Pirelli have responded to criticism that their rubber became too predictable in the second half of the 2012 season. They have announced a new strategy for 2013. Boss of Pirelli Motorsport Paul Hembery said that all the compounds for this year would be softer than their 2012 counterparts. In addition each team will be given a set of comedy tyres for the race. They won't know in advance which ones they are, but when strapped on they'll only last about three laps before wearing down to a message that says commedia pneumatico.
"Then try telling us the races are too predictable.."
Far From Simples
Although Timo Glock has parted company from Russian-owned F1 team, Marussia, it is still not clear whether Vitaly Petrov will be able to drive for them in his place. Vitaly's manager, the formidable Oksana Kosachenko revealed that they are still in negotiation with Caterham for the remaining seat there. The only issue is whether they will accept "four meerkat toys, including meerkat cub."
Mercedes Want to Nick Lowe
Paddy Lowe has become the latest technical guru likely to abandon the McLaren ship. This week the former flat-racing jockey has been linked to Mercedes, where he might ultimately take over from Ross Brawn. The move comes in a bid by the car manufacturer to make a serious challenge to the likes of Red Bull and Ferrari.
Last year Niki Lauda was appointed to the Mercedes Board and Williams CEO Toto Wolff has now been installed as Mercedes Motorsport boss. In the wake of Niki Lauda's failure at Jaguar and Wolff's lack of experience running an F1 team, one paddock insider was moved to say, "Ross Brawn is right when he says that Paddy Lowe is part of a succession plan. The plan is to have at least one person at Mercedes who knows what they're doing."
Hamilton Management To Look At Contract
Following his visit to Mercedes HQ at Brackley this week Lewis Hamilton is said to be talking to his management about potential get-out clauses for his three-year contract.
A spokesman for Mercedes was quick to point out that Lewis's unease had nothing to do with the possibility that Ross Brawn might be leaving. Lewis was just really disappointed when he found out that the Mercedes "magic paddle" wasn't actually magic.